Living well with chronic conditions is hard. While each patient is responsible for his or her own self-management, most of us need help to succeed.  There are many sources of help, but one of the best sources is other patients like you. Nobody understands what you’re going through as well as people who are going through it themselves. This kind of help is called “peer support.”

Peer support helps in at least four ways.

• Emotional support
• Practical advice
• Practical help - like an exercise partner or a ride to the doctor
• Increased confidence from seeing others like you succeed at self-management.

Helping Peers Helps You

You can provide peer support as well as receive it. You have a wealth of information and experience to share with other patients. You may be able to provide emotional and practical help, too.  Studies of peer support show that both helpers and receivers of help benefit.

Peer support can be informal – just you talking with a friend or someone you meet in the doctor’s waiting room. It can also be more organized. Many health care providers have set up programs of “peer mentors” who are paired with other patients to provide support.  Others have set up education programs led by patients to teach others about self-management. Any of these approaches can provide you with opportunities to help yourself and help others.

How does providing peer support to others help you? First, helping others is good for your health. Studies show that those who volunteer their time are less likely to die from any cause, compared to those who do not volunteer. Helpers also report that they have fewer colds, headaches, and backaches. They even report relief from pain of chronic illness like arthritis and lupus. Many volunteers report that they eat and sleep better since they started volunteering. Second, the people you support may become your friends. They may help you and enrich your life in many ways. Third, talking about and teaching self-management skills may help you solve problems in your own life and self-management.

How to Be Good at Supporting Your Peers

The key skills in providing 1-on-1 peer support are:

• Listening is often the best help we can give.
• Sharing your story – telling others how you got through similar problems will give them hope and ideas.
• Giving advice --  should usually be kept to a minimum. What worked for you might not work for them. But you can present ideas for them to check out. For example, if certain foods make your arthritis pain worse, you could tell another patient about that experience. But you wouldn’t want to say, “Stop eating these foods.”
• Giving information – Don’t preach, but if you know of books, web sites, articles that they can read, let them know. If you know of social agencies that might help them, give them the phone number. You don’t want to appear to be the expert; you want them to become their own experts.
• Do things with them – like exercising or going food shopping, if you want to.  Don’t do things that will make you resent them. Take care of yourself.

Depending on your style, you may do better in formal peer support programs such as:

• A support group or self-help group – join one or start your own
• A formal peer mentoring program where you talk or meet regularly with another patient
• A self-management training class that you can teach. The providers will train you.
• A telephone peer counseling program – many community organizations and healthcare providers have volunteer peer counselors. They will train you.