Families can make or break your self-management program. Family members can support you in making changes, or they can make things harder. Chronic illness can challenge families, but the challenge can also bring families together. The keys to success usually involve good communication. Some of the important things to talk about with others include:

Asking for help. Most of us are reluctant to ask for help. We think it makes us weak, or we don't want to impose on others. But most people want to help. And it doesn't just have a positive affect on you. It makes them feel good about themselves. Family members won't know what to do if we don’t tell them. They may offer help when it’s not needed or try to assist in very unhelpful ways. As you work to include healthy habits into your daily routine, it will be easier for you if you can tell your family and friends ways they can be helpful.

Setting limits. How do we react when a friend insists on re-telling her favorite show, line by line, when we are desperately tired and need to relax? What do we say when Aunt Jane wants a ride to the store to buy cat litter, when we need time to exercise? It's important to learn how to say "No" and mean it. A lot of us are afraid that if we say no, others will be hurt or angry. In reality, people can handle "No", as long as you’re polite, and you can handle their anger, as long as they're not abusive.

Talking about emotions and symptoms. It's stressful for families if they don't know how you're feeling. They can guess, but they don't know unless you tell them. Learn to express emotions and describe symptoms clearly. For example, you might want to give your pain or fatigue or depression a number between 1 and 10. Of course, families don't want to hear about your problems all day long, and you have to listen to their problems, too. Such communication can bring your family closer and prevent misunderstandings. Don't forget to talk about your progress and celebrate changes or success no matter how big or small. Seeing your progress may inspire those around you to adopt healthier habits.

Address the difficult emotions that illness brings. You and everyone in the family may have anger, fear, and grief about your chronic condition. You and they may also become frustrated when things aren’t going well. Each person may feel the other doesn’t understand their situation. Everyone may be afraid of upsetting others by telling them what they feel.

Talking about these issues together will reduce the stress they bring. You may find these conversations bringing you closer together. You don’t have to talk about such feelings all the time, but it’s good to check in about them once in a while.